That Be The Verse by Philip Larkin provides the framework for this refreshingly honest, frank and powerful documentary, Your Mum and Dad by Klaartje Quirijns. It is a documentary that is deeply personal to Quirjns but coherently pulls together in unfiltered honesty what a lot of people sadly know to be true that your parents mess you up through willing act and omission.
After receiving devastating news about her own health, Quirijns decides to turn the camera not only on herself but her family to examine and explore the generational trauma that lies deep within it since the death of the sister she never met. A friend also allows her to film his psychoanalysis sessions and these two strands help to explore the impact inter generational trauma has and what measures can be taken to come to terms with it. Your Mum and Dad leaves space for the revelations to come and the impact to be felt. Being rooted in psychoanalysis, the film gives concrete evidence and explanations. One phrase that struck me was “anger is connected to memory”, so a person can keep getting angry because they hold onto that memory.
It is a profound piece of work for all that is said and unsaid. Utlitmately, the film reveals how so many people don’t deal with their hard stuff before having kids. In failing to do so the their trauma is passed down and some parents look to their children to save them. This is a really profound piece of work that will linger in your memory long after the credits have rolled. As is stated in the film, it’s not your parents you have to forgive but yourself, only then can the healing start.
YOUR MUM AND DAD is in UK cinemas and Curzon Home Cinema from 26 April: https://www.dartmouthfilms.com/your-mum-and-dad